Fortune Cookie Friday: Persistently Hopeful
I had stubbornly put off writing this month’s post for a while. It was a busy time of year for me, and I had several other projects to tackle. However, my writing deadline was approaching fast, and I had to start sometime, so I plucked the fortune from my collection and felt the cruel irony of the following words.
With my stubbornness thwarted, my persistence in completing another post kicked in. I started thinking about the difference between stubbornness and persistence. My first inclination was to attribute a negative connotation to the former and a positive one to the latter. Then, I dug a little deeper.
Persistence implies continuing in a course of action despite difficulty, while stubbornness suggests refusing to change one’s attitude or position, even when presented with good reasons to do so.
Henry Ward Beecher said, “The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one often comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won’t.”
I still felt like there was more to it than that, though. There have been times when I was stubborn and others when I was persistent. What caused me to be so steadfast in each of those courses?
As I pondered my actions, I watched those of the critters outside my office feasting on the smorgasbord of seeds and nuts I had left. I snickered at a twitchy American red squirrel (Tamiasciurus hudsonicus) that joined the fray of animals.
Red squirrels are smaller than their gray squirrel cousins, but what they lack in size, they make up for in attitude. Mainly solitary creatures, they fiercely defend their territory and cache of food. This one chased off the other squirrels, crows, and even our chubby woodchuck, Murray.
The furry little beast grabbed a nut, scurried to the Spruce tree, up the trunk, along the branch, and stuffed the nut into the needles, then scurried back to repeat the process all at a dizzying pace.
The squirrel would have gathered a great haul if not for the Blue Jays flying in and snatching the nuts from their hiding places. Nonetheless, the squirrel continued to store as much as possible, hoping to have enough for a rainy day. To call it persistent would be an understatement.
After dragging my attention away from the wildlife and back to my desk, I considered the saying “stubborn as a mule.”
Donkeys and mules are known for their temperament. They are naturally cautious and don’t adjust to change well. They don’t like being led, especially when they feel vulnerable. Unlike horses, they will freeze instead of running when threatened or faced with uncertainty. This self-preservation instinct developed into their strong will, but we call it stubbornness.
It takes a lot of patience and persistence to earn the trust of a donkey. Luckily, they remember experiences well, and trainers can earn a donkey’s trust by providing consistency and care—and a carrot or two.
Persistence and stubbornness are like two sides of a coin. Both can be positive and negative, but persistence is driven by hope, while stubbornness is driven by fear.
We can be hopeful like the squirrel collecting nuts, the athlete training for a race, or the writer querying agents. We can also be stubborn like the mule pulled on a rope, the cat that doesn’t want its claws clipped, or the toddler cleaning their room. We can protect ourselves from the unknown or forge straight into the storm.
I can be a curmudgeon, especially when it comes to change, but change will happen no matter what I do. I can try to fight it, but that unwillingness will only lead to despair. It is better to accept what we can’t control and move on to things we can.
The road may be difficult, but I can be steadfast in my course. Life will inevitably have twists and turns, hills and valleys, and I must learn from my mistakes. I’ll keep putting one foot in front of the other and enjoy the journey that unfolds. In the end, I will be a better person for it, and that gives me hope.
